A quote from Charles Bukowski 

(Source: rarararambles)

I know it’s just a transitional thing, but it still really stinks. The thought that I might be too poor to go see my family for Thanksgiving…breaks my heart. I haven’t seen my brother since June and if I can’t get there this weekend, I may not get another opportunity until Christmas.

I know I’ll figure it out.
I don’t really take adversity lying down.

I just hate having to worry about it. I hate struggling for the basic things I need. Luckily, at the end of the day I have a roof over my head, and a cupboard full of rice and pasta, so when I feel down and out, I can definitely take comfort in knowing that I’m better off than so many.

as i wrapped up my last couple of years in north bay, there were definitely some things that i knew i was going to miss dearly. some things that i had probably been taking for granted. let’s get serious, at the end of the day, i did not stay in school for seven years because i had some burning desire to put myself $50,000 in the hole. i stayed there for the whole student culture! i stayed there because i was passionate about being a leader and mentor, particularly where frosh week was concerned. and largely, i stayed there because i loved endless theme parties, free concerts, and VIP status.

as a result of my in’s in north bay, i found myself privileged enough to attend a few COCA conferences, which further perpetuated my love for student culture, music, and partying like a rockstar. at my last COCA conference, i swore to my friends, and to myself, that it would not be my last. since i had never actually been on council, was not a student programmer, and did not really feel that i had any skills to offer campuses, it seemed like a stretch that i would ever find myself there again.

but i’m really determined.

and sure enough, a year leader, COCA regional’s are fast approaching and i will be finding myself on the guest list. in the past two weeks, i have visited six different campuses to participate in their frosh/orientation week, and while my visits have been primarily business, i have found myself enjoying many of the events that had kept me institutionalized by post-secondary for so long. i have a growing list of concerts that i will be attending for free, kick started by an arkells show in oakville this evening. i love this band, the lead singer is a babe, and their encore was an homage to motown. you can just imagine how happy i was.

i spent seven years in university and college, and while i excelled at just about everything i tackled, the most valuable skills i gained, i did not learn in the class room. after spending tens of thousands of dollars on education, the things that ultimately landed me a job that i love, came from being a frosh leader and a mentor, volunteering at every single concert, and partying my ass off.

so, a week into my new job and i find myself touring through the armpits of northern ontario, spreading party cheer in the form of new years and spring break promo. yes, my job is FUN. i meet enthusiastic students, party, and get to expense all of the teas and coffees i can handle to my company.

but what does a “party specialist” do in her downtime?

she watches a lot of garbage TV (even though she rarely watches television at all in “real life”). she spends a lot of time in sweat pants, and even more time in no pants all. she treats her meals like little hotel bed picnics, and eats wheels of cold brie with her hands. she lays in bed, and takes naps, and prepares for the next commitment. she has a hard time falling asleep at night, because even though the day was long…it’s still not quite home.

don’t get me wrong, i’m having a blast so far! i’m relieved that the long drives haven’t brought on the panic attacks i feared they would. but i DO look forward to going home!

“home”.

whatever that means.